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I lied to my boss saying that I wouldn't be able to go to work today because my cousin died. Now, she's asking me for proof of death with a death certificate. What should I do?
I have two sets of advice. First coments apply if you work for a large company with an HR department. Small business advise is last. (And how you behave for each is very different. To a large corporate owned company you are a number. To a small business, you are like a member of a small family.)Corporate advice:A. Any corporate boss who asks for proof of death, or proof of illlness, or any proof of reason for absence is overstepping boundaries. DON’T come clean to ANYONE who has that kind of mentality in the corporate world, you’ll be giving pearls to swine. They’ll ruin you. Here’s what you do (and my mobile ap has no date on this question so if it’s old…eh learn for next time.B. You are going to need to become an instant adult overnight. You’re playing with the big boys now. You do something stupid, stop panicking…THINK!FIRST, look through the workplace policy manual to see what the actual protocol for PTO is. Check if she has the right to ask for proof of death, or to ask for reasons for absense. Check if it’s standard HR office protocol or if she’s just being a “bossy boss.”If it's NOT protocol, if she does NOT have the right to ask for proof of death, go talk to HR. Get clarification from HR about time off policies.If HR states no reason needs to be given for PTO, then tell them what happened: that 1. there was a death in the family, that 2. she asked for proof, that 3. you know now it is not office policy, but she asks it from those underneath her, that 4. you want her to stop asking for “notes from mom.” 5. You want to take your days off per office policy, and you believe questions about your personal life are inappropriate, and this last caused you great stress, because you feel asking your aunt for a death certificate was bordering on harrassment, but you don’t want to lose your job.If it IS HR policy, then, because YOU failed to read your manual, you will either have to lie, come clean, or quit. I dont suggest coming clean. HOWEVER, I dont suggest this because I believe in lying…I don’t! (And I hope you have learned that your one day off was surely not worth all this!) I don’t think you should come clean because, I BELIEVE IT’S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS, and ANY boss who asks for proof of ANYTHING has overstepped their boundaries as your boss.Your boss has NO RIGHT to know anything about your personal life. Not one damb thing! Bosses today have evolved into disturbing, controlling, parental figures that demand to know things they’ve no right to know. Your boss has no right to know if your cousin actually died and no right to know if you're a liar. Your family’s existence and your moral character are none of their business.The ONLY thing your boss needs to decide is:To what degree your absence affected the daily productivity.If you had any PTO/time off left to use.Whether to keep you, give you a warning, or fire you.Your BEHAVIOR is the only thing she need concern herself with. Your MINDSET and THE REASONS BEHIND YOUR BEHAVIOR is none of her affair, and nothing she has a right to discover.Her conversation with you should be nothing more than:“Your absence caused you to get behind on ‘abc.• I’ll need you to get it caught up by ‘xyz• date.” OR…“You had 28 days PTO starting the beginning of the year. You’ve taken 10 of those already. You might want to ration them out or you wont have any left at the end of the year.” OR…“I hope you’re family is doing well. Welcome back.”Read your manual, there should be well defined rules governing days off. Most jobs give you so many days off per year, and you can take them, and no reason need be given. Most bosses dont want to know why their employees take days off, and her wanting a reason is very strange to me. If it’s a large business it reeks of discrimination, and she’s singled you out for some reason, OR you are habitually absent and she’s decided to play a mind game of cat and mouse. Either way, asking for proof is a strange request for most companies. Very strange. I’d consider finding a different, less bizarre job.SMALL BUSINESS - with no HR department, or a mom and pop shop where the boss is the actual owner:Asking for “a note from mom,” unfortunately is common with owner/boss small businesses, because they do operate more like a small family. If this is the case, and you work for a mom and pop shop, then it actually might be best to come clean. Prostrate yourself before the boss/owner, beg forgiveness, and promise never to do it again.BOTTOM LINE: The best gift you could give YOURSELF is a good work ethic. Never take a day off unless you are taking an allowed vacation, you are actually sick, or there really IS a family emergency.
How do you "fake it till you make it"?
This is something I’m working on at the moment. In a way it’s about ‘putting the cart before the horse• in the direction of meeting your goals. If your goal is to be more confident, ask yourself:‘What would a confident person be doing at this party, right now?’Answer: ‘He’d be walking over to someone and striking up a pleasant conversation rather than sitting by himself waiting for someone to approach him.’And then force yourself to do that, even though it’s uncomfortable and scary, rather than waiting til you feel like it would be comfortable and unscary to do that. Gradually it gets easier and eventually it no longer feels fake or forced, it’s just what you do at parties.Myself, I’m prone to worrying and feeling anxious and tense for no particular reason, or disproportionately for a small reason. I would like to be a person who doesn’t do that. Very same thing:‘What would a person who is not inclined to worry too much and tense up be doing right now?’‘She’d be sitting calmly, with her muscles relaxed instead of fidgeting and holding her muscles tightly. Ok, I can put away that pen that I have somehow managed to tie in a knot, and I can take some slow breaths to consciously relax my muscles, now that I have noticed how tense they are.’‘What would I be thinking about if I was a person who wasn’t inclined to worry so much?’‘I’d be thinking about something pleasant, like planning a nice dinner to cook tonight. Or just something in the moment, like noticing a bird out the window.’Similarly:‘What would I be doing if I was a non-smoker?’‘What would I be doing right now if I was a more productive in work and less easily distracted?• (another one I am working on, although the answer was ‘Not using quora• :/)‘What would I be doing if I was a person who• [insert your personal goal here]?’
Does faking it until you make it truly work?
“Fake it till you make it” means that before you do something, just pretend to like it first and convince yourself that you really can do it for sure. And while you are doing it, with more experiences accumulated, your confidence is gradually set up and more and more you become like it. Finally you really get it done successfully. It is a process of modeling or imitation. You can borrow other successful person’s behavior, habits, communication styles, beliefs, strategies of thinking and approaches to solve problems and improve them so that they become your unique wealth to help you success.However, if you want to make this aphorism works effectively, you need to change yourself from outside to inside.For example, if you want to imitate Michael Jackson to be a successful musician, not only should you imitate his dresses and actions, but you also need to learn from his perseverance, dedication and hardworking attitudes towards achieving his music dreams. You need to understand how he was able to mouth the music instead of using the instruments lines. Where did his particular styles of singing and dancing come from? Do you have the enough musical knowledge as he had?I remember my brother liked to imitate Michael Jackson when he was a small child. He bought similar dress to wear and jumped his steps exactly like Michael Jackson did. Then he would ask me”Sister, Am I looking like Michael Jackson?” I told him ”You look like Michael Jackson, but you don’t have his spirit. You need to work hard on signing, dancing and experiencing music so that you can have the similar musical intuition as Michael Jackson had such as his having melodies and beats in the head suddenly at any time.”It worked for me in many cases actually. When I was informed to work in Transcanada Pipelines as a computer consultant by my small company, honestly speaking, I had no confidence at all. I only had a 2-year computer technology diploma and knew nothing about 4D at all. Wasn’t that a joke for me to become a paid consultant? I did not think too much. I had to be successful with no other choices at all.I had some teaching experiences before, therefore, I pretended to be a teacher again in my job. I pretended to be an experienced 4D programmer with many years of experience in debugging those complicated software applications and answering the employees• questions. Actually they did not know my background. I gave them an impression that I was good at 4D. I acted as if I had been successful.In the back, I worked very hard and carefully. I learned 4D from books and experienced experts. I remember an old guy named Bob Shirley who gave me a great help. He was a 4D genius and also my professional model. I learned his 4D skills, his modes of thinking, his ideas, his interests and even his tunes of speaking. He liked to say “Fu*ck” when he was upset, and I stopped regarding “Fu*ck” as a very bad word. I liked this word little by little. He was the No.2 figure in Transcanada and I became the No.3 finally. No 1. was my boss Murray. Ha ha ha..:)It seemed that I had already become successful before I began to realize how hard 4D was and how difficult answering those questions was. I succeeded and I did very well. It was amazing, wasn’t it?I totally believe that 'fake it till you make it' would work for everyone as long as you are good at learning and imitating. Another important thing is to believe yourself, be fearless and be perseverant.Sources:Fake it 'Til You Make it: How to Convince Others You're Confident - Persuasion By DesignperseveranceWas Michael Jackson a musical genius? Quora
What are the best ways to fake your own death?
The best ways (if any can be said to be the "best") might include:Pretend to be depressed around family and friends and then suddenly disappear. Leave solid false clues that would lend an outside observer to believe that you have committed suicide and simply walk away from your current life.If you have not lived in current location for an extended period (and, as such, won't likely be "missed") consider placing an obituary ad in one or more papers in other areas where you lived briefly before moving to the new area. Many papers require a death certificate for this, but such a document is relatively easy to obtain or to forge. Then simply drop off the radar and move on to a new life.Fake several minor accidents and then inform people that you are going to undertake a significantly hazardous adventure or sporting endeavor alone. When you fail to return by a specified time, and if you leave enough "clues" to indicate that you met with either foul play or an accident, you'll find it easy to simply stroll off into the sunset with people assuming that you are presumably deceased.Call the authorities, pretending to be someone else, and describe, in detail, how you "murdered" yourself. Do as such using a throwaway cell phone and simply dispose of the phone when you are finished. Leave the area (after again leaving "clues" that you met with foul play) and simply start a new life. The police will search for you, but will likely start that search at the false location(s) that you sent them, making it very likely that they will never locate you.Using someone who you can trust and who is unknown to friends or family, have that person pretend to abduct you and "ransom" you for a ridiculous amount of money. When they aren't paid, leave indications that you met with foul play and your body has been concealed or destroyed. Leave the area and start your new life.Again, there are few "best ways" to fake your own death and several that I described above could easily land you in court/jail or prison, depending upon the reasons that you sought to fake your own death and "disappear"
When employees work in a different state than they live, do they need to fill out state withholding certificates for both states?
Ohio borders on 5 states (MI, IN, KY, WV, PA). With each state there is an agreement that provides cross border employees are only taxed in one state. This makes it simpler for both employees and employers.I don’t know that this is true with all states but if Ohio and Michigan can get along on this, the other states have no excuse.
Police and Law Enforcement: How should I fill out my Certificate of Employment so I can drive home from work?
I would use the earliest hour you will be going to work and the latest hour you will driving home for work on each day. If for instance you may work 9 a.m. to noon on one Saturday and 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. on another, use 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. If on Tuesdays you may work from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. on one and 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. on another, put down 3 p.m. to 10 p.m.
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